Sweet Monster,
The very first day of your life, after everyone else went home, I sat on the hospital bed in the dim room holding my brand new baby and tried to soak in every single thing. I tried to memorize your face, the weight of your tiny body, the feel of your brand new pink little lips. It was snowing the night you were born and that just made the world feel even more quiet and cozy. I stroked your face, amazed at how someone wrinkling their nose could be so, so beautiful.
So many times this first year I have had the same feeling of amazement. What a brilliant little smile! I had never heard such a laugh. Are your eyes going to stay that dark and beautiful. I've been so excited by every little thing. I called your Vovo after the first time you had a banana. I cheered and kissed you until you cried in frustration the first time you rolled over. There was a photoshoot after you had rice cereal. Everybody received a picture of my sweet Phin phin in the bath and the bumbo and the swing, on the grass. And I have never ever seen a cuter little bottom!
I wish I could tell the younger me, the girl that was terrified she wouldn't love you enough, that there is nothing, NOTHING, sweeter than a little boy who places his tiny hands on your cheeks while you lay in the bed together and leans his forehead against yours. I would tell her that she was going to be tired, so tired that every fiber of her body hurt, but it wouldn't matter. That if she took a deep breath, she'd realize that time staying up all night rocking a babe until he fell asleep was so limited.
Once I came to terms with that baby boy, I cried because I couldn't imagine not having the choice to hold you every night.
I have loved you every second of your life so far. I will love you always. I can no longer imagine a world without my Phinny. Thank you for such a magical year little boy. I wish I could do it all over.
Love,
Your Mama
The very first day of your life, after everyone else went home, I sat on the hospital bed in the dim room holding my brand new baby and tried to soak in every single thing. I tried to memorize your face, the weight of your tiny body, the feel of your brand new pink little lips. It was snowing the night you were born and that just made the world feel even more quiet and cozy. I stroked your face, amazed at how someone wrinkling their nose could be so, so beautiful.
So many times this first year I have had the same feeling of amazement. What a brilliant little smile! I had never heard such a laugh. Are your eyes going to stay that dark and beautiful. I've been so excited by every little thing. I called your Vovo after the first time you had a banana. I cheered and kissed you until you cried in frustration the first time you rolled over. There was a photoshoot after you had rice cereal. Everybody received a picture of my sweet Phin phin in the bath and the bumbo and the swing, on the grass. And I have never ever seen a cuter little bottom!
I wish I could tell the younger me, the girl that was terrified she wouldn't love you enough, that there is nothing, NOTHING, sweeter than a little boy who places his tiny hands on your cheeks while you lay in the bed together and leans his forehead against yours. I would tell her that she was going to be tired, so tired that every fiber of her body hurt, but it wouldn't matter. That if she took a deep breath, she'd realize that time staying up all night rocking a babe until he fell asleep was so limited.
Once I came to terms with that baby boy, I cried because I couldn't imagine not having the choice to hold you every night.
I have loved you every second of your life so far. I will love you always. I can no longer imagine a world without my Phinny. Thank you for such a magical year little boy. I wish I could do it all over.
Love,
Your Mama
This about made me cry!
ReplyDelete-Na
Ahh, I love you Nana. And so does Phinny phin.
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