Wait, Apple Hill isn't a giant apple?

Because Phin thinks it would be so much cooler if it was. After two plus hours in the car with Mom and Dad trying to hype it up,

"Phin, we're here! This is Apple Hill!"

"Mommy, what'd you say?"

"We're at Apple Hill!"

"No! No, this isn't Apple Hill. No!"

"Uh, yeah, this is it." Crap. "This is Apple Hill!"

"No Mama! This, this, we not at Apple Hill!"

Poor kid was expecting a giant Apple Hill. James and the Giant Peach style, but bigger. And you know, an apple.

Vovo pacified him with a giant, but not hill sized, chocolate and caramel covered marshmallow on a stick. Yeah, we let him have that for less than a minute. And he rode a horse, a pony, which fufilled a Momma dream for me. Fun was had by all!

Gray slept most of the day but he ate when he was hungry and was cuddled by many loved ones. So I'm sure he had a pretty sweet day himself.

The whole weekend was pretty fabulous. Living the dream.

 

One last glimpse of that fall stuff.

 I’m over Halloween. 100 and fifty million percent. I’m rarely sad to see a holiday go because I'm raring for the next one. So if you peek into my house on any random week night you’ll probably find me listening to Christmas carols and cutting out turkey feathers for some amazingly crafty project that will simultaneously be featured on Martha Stewart and Domestic Hipster websites.  Fine. I’m not cutting out feathers. And probably not listening to music. Most likely I’m trying to hold my child in the tub using all four of my limbs while Jared tries really hard to throw some soap and water on him before the thirty seconds I have the ability to overpower a one year expires and he runs away trying to pee on everything.

After we rock him to bed we sit on the couch in a semi-comatose state until Netflix tells us we have no new episodes of Breaking Bad or Dexter to watch at which point we head to bed and lick our wounds. Cheery right?

Ok. Maybe that was just last night. Things have actually been pretty amazing since croup and zombie throat killer virus have left our house. I just finished the Hunger Games series which means we’ve been eating a lot of stew and hunks of bread and cheese in our house. And greens. Don’t forget the greens. I’m a marketers dream. Even a book can determine what I’ll crave for the next two weeks.

So back to my original thought. I’m over Halloween, but I still have all these pictures to post. I’m going to suck it up and show you anyway. First up, our trip to Apple Hill. I really am in love with that place.

But next week……glowing halo leaves and turkeys made out of recycled bottles that wear red lipstick and horn rim glasses. Hold your breath.  

Trying to figure out the map.  He sucked, no sense of direction.

Really, is he plotting how to save the world after finishing the pie? 

Can't help myself.

You won't have to see a single ghost or skeleton for a year after Monday. Humor me.

Meeting babes, walking dogs, doing weekend

We met the baby. Weeks ago, actually, but last night we hosted a little meet the baby party for my sister in law. I'm a little amazed it all came together. I had the hardest time planning this thing. Work, missing husband, total lack of party planning genius cells. My work was cut out for me.

Thanks to Etsy, my mom and my sis invitations went out. Guess that meant people were coming. 

So we fed them. Fun night. Except for one really awkward conversation. I'm a nervous rambler and one of the guests happened to be just the type that could bring out my very best slash worst rambling. Telling people I barely know my medical history type rambling. Awesome. 

After it was over, I assumed my position on the couch and didn't move. And Phin ended the night totally addicted to pumpkin pie. So dreams were fulfilled. 

Today we remembered fall is one of the best walking times. You knew this, I'm sure. So we took advantage because before you know it we'll be pushing that stroller through snow. Which kind of sucks because I kind of suck when it comes to cold plus physical activity. Yup. Lots of suck. Today though, suck free.

I'm a sucker

For seasonal stuff. Really, put out a shmoopy holiday commercial and I'm all over it. Example? I get excited every time that football or cable commercial comes on where they sing about the joys of football to a Christmas tune. Not even a football fan and I want to run home, put on a jersey, unzip my jeans and open a bag of crappy chips. And swear at people. I don't know why but that commercial makes me want to cuss.

I'm trying to sucker Phin into my psychotic love of all things seasonal. I should be able to successfully brainwash him, I got a hold of him so young. We went on a two hour walk around the neighborhood to ohh and ahh over every pumpkin, ghost and changing tree. Sadly I didn't get pictures of any of my favorite houses. Liza chose those times to have nervous breakdowns about the possibility of a raccoon lurking in the sewer drain. This resulted in me dragging a dog barking so enthusiastically in looked like she was having a freaken seizure while pushing a stroller where my one year old was trying to stand up in so he could be better heard as he yelled "No, no, no Liza. No, no, NOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOO".  Same time I'm trying to take a picture and be discreet so neighbors don't look out their windows and freak me out when I review my photos at home. So yeah, those ones turned out a little too blurry.

My Grandpa was a college stud. I should have known.

This weekend

-I learned my baby loves a good football game. We took Phin to his first one. It was awesome. I totally envisioned him sticking nacho in someone’s hair, screaming through the whole third quarter, throwing his shoe/cup/spit wad at the mascot but hitting someone with much better seats and other horrible toddler things. Didn’t happen. Somehow all of his clothes stayed on his body and our seat neighbors left unscathed and uncheesed. Which is good because we have season passes so we’re going to see those suckers for five more games.

I think all the commotion overwhelmed him so he was happy to sit on my lap for 3 plus hours and wave at pretty, older chicks. And by older I mean nine to ten. (Don’t think I didn’t catch that Phin. My hawk eyes miss nothing. Nothing.) So we’re going back. Let’s hope the magic that is called sensory overload doesn’t wear off because I plan on getting my fill of stadium food between now and December third.  I salute the cheesy pretzel and ultimate nacho.

-I learned my husband wishes he could play college ball. File this under things about Lesco that really surprise me. Like the time he told me he hopes we own horses someday. And how he wouldn’t mind riding lessons before then. Whaaaa…?

-I learned my Grandpa played college football. Then when he got bored of that he switched to college basketball. Which was considerably less boring in his personal opinion. So I googled him and found some records he set while in a fraternity. Go Grandpa.

-I learned that cookie dough cheesecake bars are the bomb. If you don’t mind diabetic shock. YUMMY!!!

-I did not learn that soup potlucks are also of bomb nature, duh, but I did learn that my stomach has an unusually large soup holding capacity. Could totally turn this into a money making opportunity. Is the circus sideshow employment office open today? Or do they have limited daytime hours?

-I learned that some stores suck. I also learned that this can be beneficial. Jo-Ann fabric was clearancing out all their Halloween and Thanksgiving stuff and throwing Christmas  up on the front shelves. Uh what? I’ll take myself a turkey at 60 percent off but that holiday is still a month and a half away. So while I hate them for rushing through my beloved fall, I love them for giving me a deal on my Halloween party décor. I love you! I hate you! Let’s make out! Logical, right?

-I learned that there is no way to keep silk un-wrinkly on my body for more than three point five minutes unless I stand perfectly still. Which I am incapable of unless I’m in one of those chamber things that puts you to sleep and wakes you up in five hundred years when everyone chooses their body from a catalog and eats dots ice cream. It really is the dessert of the future.

So awesome weekend for me. Ya’all learn anything you want to pass along? Dooo it!

Why I don't mind seeing Christmas decorations in October.

In 2006 I had already been married three whole years. I was only twenty three. My friends were only twenty three. We were so young but like many twenty three year olds we felt much older. Some of us were married. Some of us were finished with college or in grad school. Some had children. Some were traveling the world. We were grown ups. We had life experiences that had aged us. Still, that fall reminded me just how young I really was.

I have written about Kayla once before. It's hard. I don't want to exploit her memory but I don't want to forget. I want the world to think about her. It's hard to believe that five years have passed since she was here everyday.

She told me the very end of July. She sat with Kyle on my couch and asked me how my family was. She listened while I went on about my sister diving into a rock up at the lake that day. Looking back at that night I can't believe how long I rambled on about silly things before I asked her how she was. That's when she told me about the tumor they had found. They were still running tests and didn't know exactly what is was. She was scared. I remember crying with her and hugging. I'm far from a touchy person. The hugging was out of character for me so I remember.

It was brain cancer and the very worst kind. The next few months must have gone by as fast as any four but they exist in my brain as a much longer period. Each time I visited in the hospital there was a line to get in to see her. Seeing the girl who could do anything so drained was... there aren't words. Still, I just assumed she would get better. This was not Kayla's first run in with cancer. When Jared and I were dating she fought a very different form and won. It wasn't until I read an article written about her in a local paper that quoted the survival rate for her type of cancer that I finally got it.

I want to tell you about just one moment. Kayla had moved to Utah to receive better treatment. The weekend before Halloween there was a large fundraiser going on for her in Reno that she couldn't attend. Jared and I went down to visit and distract her. We went window shopping for a wedding dress. We ate lunch downtown at one of her favorite restaurants. We sat under the Christus statue in Temple Square in silence. It was emotional.

As we wandered around downtown we saw men stringing up a giant wreath. I guffawed and said something about how ridiculous is was. How could they start with that still days before November?

“I love it Melanie. I want to see Christmas one more time. I'm glad it's going up now.”

So we stopped and watched them work.

Now every year when I see stores stick Christmas trees up next to Halloween candy displays, I smile. I remember the friend I owe my marriage and my family to. And that's a good feeling.

 

source

Three things you shouldn't do this fall.

 pic source

Fall is officially here. Whoot. This is a bigger relief to me than you because your husband hasn't been knocking your autumn decor for the last 22 days.

"Not fall Mel. Nice try Mel. Your pumpkins can suck it Mel." All right, maybe his mouth didn't say that last one, but if you saw his eyes...

Anyway, we've all been inundated with everyone's odes to this fabulous season since September rolled around.

We've heard about how they can't wait to swallow whole pumpkins with spice sticks shoved in them. We get that they want to watch every single football game, even if it means losing their job, losing their spouse, losing their grasp of reality. We know they want to frolic in golden fall rays while wearing Frye boots and twirling in traditional autumn fairy fashion.


Me too.


But this is my list of do nots. Believe me, I have your safety in mind.


Number one. Don't jump in the leaves. I know it's tempting. There you are walking through the park or your yard and you see it, a giant pile of glistening fall gold. Let me tell you what it really is. A nest of terrorists. I mean spiders. A nest of disgusting eight legged insects just waiting for some fall sap to jump into their trap so they can crawl up into your hair and lay little fall babies. Yuck. Pass.


Number two- Pumpkin Spice Frappucino. If you're going to get one, you're probably going to get a grande. And if you're human, you're probably going to to get whipped cream. This means you're going to get 69 grams of sugar. Don't do it. It's all about moderation people. Do you want a stupid drink that will fill you up for three hours until you need your next fix? Wouldn't you rather buy one of those giant Halloween bags of mixed candy and snack on mini snickers and musketeers all day long? If your answer is “No, give me the drink” you suck. I don't share straws but I will totally steal some of your individually wrapped candy. Think of me.


Number three- Don't put a scarecrow in your yard. Those things freak me out. Can't we just live without them?


Ok, go forth and ignore me fall lovers. Enjoy it. Enjoy your weekend. Enjoy your fatty drinks and freaky decorations. Enjoy your bug infested heads. But don't say I didn't warn you.

I, Me, Mel crafted.

You're probably like, "Woman, you have blog, you have a kid, you seem to be God fearing. Duh. Of course you did. Isn't that what you people do?"

This people don't. I have serious attention issues when it comes to crafting. Just to put this into perspective, I was so proud I half completed a little painting I displayed it in my kitchen for three years. One, two, three years of pride over something I only spent an hour on tops that still had unfilled pencil tracings on it. It was a record.  Currently two thirds of my dining room chairs are recovered. It's been that way since Easter. My basement stairs have had painters tape on them for a year and half. Not painted. Not happening.

So when I saw this tutorial, I told myself I would do it. All the way baby. (Don't stress, not trying to bring back bad 80's slang. That was me talking to my child. I know he reads this.)

 Phin ended up with glue in his hair, I sprayed myself in the face with orange paint, and Jared is all sorts of bummed over the book I chose.

Please Jared. Like you ever planned on reading about the Cartesian Revolution. Or maybe you did. In which case, my bad.

But really, my good.

Plus I made my favorite chowder today. And cleaned, so bam. Just as domestic as you think I should be.

Balloooooooooooooon.

I like to hoard things. Not TLC quality crap like used paper plates and old doll heads, more like sick days at work. Pre Phin I had a million days off saved up. If I could've swam in them a la Scrooge McDuck, I so would have. Thing is, post Phin is a new world. A world where I use them faster than I earn them. No more giant silo of vacation days to swan dive into. Now I'm like the dude shaking a nickle in one of those giant margarita glasses from a casino. Complete with inexplicable stain on shirt.

This is my way of saying that I've been saving up my "I don't have anything to say so I'm just going to post pictures" days for a couple weeks now. So that's all I got. Balloon Races.