All about my new BFF

I love it when I let strange men into my home.

That came out all sorts of wrong but we're going to go with it.

Tuesday a repair man came to work on our front door.

The door was deciding to randomly open and I was deciding to respond with angry, lengthy tirades that would scar my baby for life if he heard.

I try to keep my mommyness on around him but that door was making it difficult. It was going to come down to a fist fight and I'll be the first to tell you I suck at those. Like I tried to punch a guy in the face in highschool and missed by a foot suck. Who misses? Me. So the door was owning me. I needed professional help.

My door repair man had a top ten hit in Sweden two years ago.

"Darling, I found myself divorced with the custody of four kids. 1.6 million dollars in the hole. That's a whole lot to write about."

Yes sir, it is. Is that enough weather stripping?

"Yup, she was the biggest jack mormon this world has ever seen. Ever."

Bet she was. Do you need that drill my baby just wandered off with, cause I'm pretty sure he won't give it back. Are you going to sing? Please don't sing. Are you going back to the store? Don't let him leave Jared, we're paying by the hour.

Phin is going for his razor. Liza's trying to eat Phin's snack. Crap, there's toilet paper on my shoe. Bigger crap. It isn't toilet paper. I think it's a piece of diaper. Triple crap. Why is there a diaper somewhere that isn't whole? Quadruple crap, did the dog knock over the garbage. Crap. Literally.

Clean mess or rock baby? Rock baby. Diapers don't pull your hair out when nap deprived. Or when they're happy. Actually, diapers are pretty good at leaving your head alone. Is that guy still talking about his wife?

I now own his cd and I think I'm invited to a concert. Pardon, showcase. I have to double slam my door for it to stay closed, but stay it does. Whew.

All that's behind me though because I'll be on vacation in a mere 18 hours. Last time I went on vacay I ended up in bed with a whole pizza.