Do you have a Nancy? Hope not.

Does your husband have a second family? Mine does. I think. Well probably not, but he's had every opportunity. Sometimes when he leaves town to dig up arrowheads and pottery and cans and once a dead dude I tell him to have fun with Nancy. Give Jared Jr. aka JJ a shoulder punch from Auntie Mel.

Then I remind him that I'm prettier, Phin is smarter, Nancy is a freaking idiot and JJ is a horrible moniker that's taking that kid nowhere. Except the gas station to sell drugs to other sad little humans in the middle of nowhere.

Kisses to everyone!!

Once he's gone I call my dark and handsome lover (who, sadly, is of average height) to come and feed me grapes and buy me expensive gifts and we laugh about Nancy and her fruit allergy. Ha Nancy, HA HA!

Phin usually locks himself in his room and blares Radiohead for the week. Moody pre-pre-pre pubescent boy.

So yeah, that's what I've been up to. Grape eating. Lots and Lots of grapes.

And PS, don't you wish you were this fly?




Look behind him at Jared pretending to be interested in the game. Look at the pained look on his face as he realizes he is past his prime and has to pass the torch on to his blonder, younger offspring. Bittersweet ladies and fellas, bittersweet.