A brand new....uterus. Whoa, is that too much for you guys? Should I have started with a Harry Potter Snuggie? My bad. The one I have is completely defunct at this point and full of tumors. Pretty sure it's time for a trade in. In fact, you can have it for free if you just give me another awesome baby. I feel like I can stipulate what type of child I want if I'm giving you an organ. Did I just say it was broken? Totally kidding, perfect working order up in this abdomen.
Better insurance. What the eff happened in the last five years? A four grand deductable? I miss you 2005 insurance. I loved you. I treated you like a princess. I want you back. I can't afford to pay in full for an MRI. Together we could make magic. Magic images of my lower half. Let's make it right.
A career for my husband that doesn't not require him to be gone more than he is home. We just celebrated him being in town for twenty straight days. That is a long, long glorious time in Mel/Lesco land. I always say we didn't feel the seven year itch this last married year because we've only actually been in the same town for four. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Not. What idiot made that up? Someone who probably didn't actually like the person they were speaking of. Distance just makes me resent you for getting an awesome night sleep while I'm cleaning up poop and puke from various creatures living in my house. Some human, some not.
An Anthropologie gift card. What, too attainable for a list of this nature? Not in this house suckers. It's looking about as magical as that two dollar gas Bachman's promising.
P.S. I love my life. I love my boys. I'm a happy girl. I just like complaining and calling on mythical men for help once in a while. Really, when you get the chance to take one of the incredibly rare "look, my baby is in the bathtub and hahaha, he has a mohawk" pics, you're living a good life. And if you tried to do it to yourself an hour later when you were flying solo in the tub, call me. We're probably soul mates.
Such a little cutie!!
ReplyDeleteI totally feel you on the insurance thing. Why is healthcare so expensive? I am still paying off my stay in the hospital when I gave birth to my almost 2 year old! Seriously?! I wish I was poor like my friend who only paid $400 to give birth. Being low income has its advantages.
ReplyDeleteI hear you. My sis with no insurance and a part time job paid nearly nothing for her birth. I'm still paying for Phin. I want to fake poor next time around. I mean poorer. I don't care if that's not a word, it's a thing.
ReplyDeletehe is too darn cute! seriously, there is no way you can't love life with that cute little face in your life!
ReplyDeletelove this post :)
ReplyDelete