1) Don't forget what your Mama/doctor/pride told you. Measure yourself in the morning or you might be 28 and suddenly find yourself a quarter inch shorter than you used to be on the office height wall. My office bro and I found ourselves in that sad, little boat yesterday at 2pm. Stop crying for us. We re-measured at 8am this morning and the wall was honest once again. Also, if your office doesn't have a height wall you're missing out. No better way to break the ice with a new director than "Take off your shoes please." Don’t tell us what type of rules we're breaking. We're a university. We're liberal.
2)If you start running a bath for your babe don't go in the backyard and lay in the hammock. You might start swinging. The weather is probably going to be perfect. You might have giant red ball to kick around under pretty lights. Your bathroom might suddenly be in need of a sump pump.
3)Don't know what to make for dinner? Get a pizza. Even if it's just a take home one from Whole Foods. Nine bucks to stay out of the kitchen for night? Worth it. Oh pizza, if I was a songwriter, I would dedicate an entire album of ballads to you.
4)If you look in a mirror and at first glance aren't able to tell if you're wearing pants, you're not. Probably just denim underwear. If your zipper has four teeth and a button, you're in the danger zone. Sure you're in college and rules are for the youngins, but going in public nekid is not the way you want to greet adulthood. They turn the AC up nice and high in some buildings. Do you want your hair to grow back in the middle of a Psych 101? No. If you really need to buck the system just go throw some red plastic cups on your lawn and wear your raybans indoors.
And another oldie of us, from anniversary number two. One week from today we'll be slow dancing to Journey or Chicago or something like that whilst gazing googley eyed and arguing over who loves each other more. Or at the very minimum refraining from using any ninja moves or curse words.
OMG. #4! Preach it, sister! I work in at a university, as well, and these girls are KILLING me.
ReplyDeleteI found you on E Tells Tales. I'm pretty sure you left a hilarious comment and I had to come check you out. I love your blog!
you're hilarious as always and you and the hubs are hot.
ReplyDeletealso, did number two really happen? dayum.
also, $9 is worth it. but for my ARMY OF PEOPLE, i'd need three. is $27 worth it? again, dayum! (that's damn in case you didn't know)
I used to be one of those girls who would wear short shorts to school.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm a mom who resents those girls. So depressing. I'd probably shoot one if I had to work at a university.
Yo! I nominated you for "the versatile blogger" award. Check it!
ReplyDeleteWelcome Marlie! Girl, you know then. In just a few months the same chicks will still be walking around in tiny little numbers. They'll just throw on their UGGs and call it winter wear. Whaaaa..?
ReplyDeleteBridget- 27 is still a deal when you have a newborn. It's called a dinner emergency fund and it can be used often. Often means multiple times a week. Or until the money runs out. Then you switch to mac and cheese.
JAG - I want to say your real name, cause I know it and all...but I'll refrain. Woman, the gun laws on campus are cuh-razy. If I were you, I'd stick to throwing gum in their hair. Or spilling coffee on their greek week shirt. Just as effective.
Sara- Thanks dudette! So sweet!
i sometimes have had the #4 moment ... i am not proud to say it but sometimes i still have those moments ... booty shorts call my name, seriously.
ReplyDeleteand #3 is what i was wishing today when i was slaving away in the kitchen ... why do i torture myself?