I let my husband on here. Is that against the rules?

 Hi all. Today, a special treat. A blog all about how awesome I am. Really, I'm tired, so I asked Jared to write a marriage advice post for my blog. What I got was a document titled Mel Rocks. Shucks, I'll take it. Clearly he wrote it before I unleashed my demonic "HOW COULD YOU EAT MY YOGURT AND MY QUESADILLA?!! HOWWW???" voice. Cause that didn't go over well. So here, an in love Lesco.

Jared here. Here's my best "off the top of my head" list of things I learned over the last eight years with Mel.

The thing about Mel is she is always right...at least 90% of the time.  When we were first married, I had a decent sense of confidence.  My memory was an ally.  I did, however, have a sense that Alzheimer's or some other dimentia was creeping up on me.  Travel a bit down the road that is our marriage and you find me up against the ropes like Rocky Balboa fighting that Russian guy. (Mel here- Did you think my guy could write a post without a Rocky or Godfather reference? Not I.)  Every time I tried to rely on my memory to back up what I was saying she would laugh off my silly argument and remind me how it really happened and then go on to thoroughly explain what I had actually said, what we were both wearing, the date and time, and what we ate for dinner that night.  It was like being Rocky without the last minute come back AND looking over to the big Russian Guy's corner and seeing both the gnarled little coach and Adrianne rooting against me!  These days I actually use her strange ability as a kind of carnival attraction...'Hey Mel, when did so and so move in?'  'Oh, it was a Monday and the temperature was around 91 degrees.  She had on that ridiculous green shirt with the turkey and a beer can. Yup, definitely the 12th of March.' (Me again. Don't worry, I would never let anyone get away with wearing a turkey bird shirt. I'd do you a solid and lend you a top. One that didn't mix foul and alcohol.)    Capitulating to such a vast ocean of random detailed information has actually reduced the number of fights we have.


Mel blogged about this next one once.  We were dating about two months when she was asked to go to Napa where her sister was living.  She didn't want to go alone, so I offered to tag along.  I wondered how awkward it was going to be, not knowing each other very well, we might have a lot of uneasy silence.  After three straight hours of blabbering about who knows what I noticed that we were at our destination.  It has been that way every single day since then....we never, I mean NEVER, get tired or bored of each other.  Some couples have money, some have foreign adventures and some have perfect teeth,  but we've got a permanent desire to be around each other. (Wait, what are you saying about my teeth Lesco?)


Even if I find out that Mel is actually a leader of a sleeping local terror cell just waiting for the right moment to strike, she does like to get up every once in a while around 5 am and go to 'the gym', I'd still have to say thank you for the little Phinny Phin.  I have done monumentally difficult things in my life. Far and away, Phin is the hardest.  The absolute sleep deprivation for 15 month; I can't do it again.  But that little Phin - I just cannot imagine a sweeter joy than that little man, my little buddy.  Thanks for making him Mel! (Welcome. I do what I can.)

And that reminds me of a fourth thing that I have learned over the last eight years.  We were living in our little duplex, still getting used to each other.  One day I was looking for something in Merlin, our bureau designed and made by Mel's great grandfather Merlin, and I noticed a bunch of crunched up papers in the back upper corner.  'How odd!  What could they be?' I innocently wondered...."Well, oh my!" This was said in my sarcastically calm voice. It happened to be about two month's worth of bills that have yet to be paid (Ya'all should know this one offends me. Still not sure how that happened with these stupid things but I was the bill payer in our family. I worked for a bank people. Sheesh.) For quite some time I was secretly worried that all things in our financial realm would be a struggle between me trying to organize and pay them and her blissfully ignoring her hands while they did a little dirty work in the dark crevices of Merlin.  Although my fears were allayed early on, it was not until I saw Mel keep her full time job, drive two hours each day for day care, keep the house in a livable condition and love our little Phin all while DEALING WITH HIS DEMONIC SLEEP SCHEDULE (did you notice the eponymous name of this blog!!!???) that I realized just how strong, determined and capable Mel is.  For reference, let me give you an average Phin night,  around 1 year.

7:30 - Dinner. He's very picky, but most kids probably are.
8:00 - Bath time. Generally he likes it but some months were pure screaming.
8:30 - Bed time. Just hope he falls asleep while rocking him in your arms or it is half an hour of screaming before he falls asleep.
10:30 - Wakes up the first time.
11:30 - Finally goes back down after whatever sleep inducing cure de jour we concoct.
1:00 - Second time up, he is never happy at night so it is always screaming when he is awake.
2:30 - Hurry back to bed after getting him down for the last time. We know that he is not staying asleep for very long and this is our last chance to get any rest.
3:30 - Wakes up screaming and is ready for the day. No getting this demon back to sleep.

Yup, that makes her a saint!  But here is the real kicker, we had two official babysitters in the first 12 months that totalled maybe three hours.  Just kidding.  While that's true, the real kicker is that I was out of town for 8 day stretches every two weeks!  So add to that schedule that she leaves the house at 6 am, at work at 7, rush to vovo's by 4:30pm and home at 6.  This is where she gets her little break, see, because from 6 to 7:30 all she has to do is clean the house, get dinner ready, play with Phin, because she has not seen the little monster all day, and rest up for the coming nights epic sleep battle.  (I can't stop butting in. I have to tell you all we have seen the error of our ways and have amazing family that has watched Phin so much the last six months that it has totally made up for any lack of babysitting we took advantage of his first year. Thanks fam!)

I WILL SWEAR ON MY LIVING MOTHER THAT MEL HAS AVERAGED FOUR HOURS OF SLEEP FOR TWO YEARS!  This is not four hours in a row either.  If she can handle that kind of crap, I have got the most amazing woman out there!!!  Thanks Mel Man.  I love you for your sacrifices.

Love is mutual Lesco. Thanks for taking the reigns on the blog for a day! Now you all know we both have no idea how you're supposed to use commas. Happy Friday Eve all.