Today's post is brought to you by Mel's neurotic tendencies

(If this is your print, tell me! I saved it and can't find the original source.)

The internal dialogue in my head is going at all times. Is that normal? Even as I'm typing this I can hear myself reading along, like my own little movie narrative. In fact, I'm always surprised when I hear myself on a recording because my head voice sounds so much better. Like a cross between Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Aniston. All American head voice.

When I'm alone at night, my personal dialogue is completely taken over by my Dateline/48 Hours broadcaster voice. I'm always convinced that I'm in some sort of imminent danger and nights alone that danger is a break in turned murder. As I'm wandering around after Phin goes down, everything I do is part of the show.

Example: I'm doing dishes. Brain wanders. Cut to detective being interviewed. In my head.

“When we initially entered the house, there really wasn't anything striking. It was neat, dishes done. A little cluttered, but nothing you wouldn't expect from a house with a child and two full time working parents.”

Because if I'm going to imagine a detective, he's going to let me off the hook for a messy house.

Or yesterday it was,

“Upon entering the residence we were unable to move due to a large amount of cardboard boxes.”

Cut to host voice while showing picture of boxes from police file.

“Melanie's husband ran a business from his home. When he left town with orders half filled in the living room, he never imagined the role those boxes would play.”

Don't ask me what role they played. I didn't get far enough to work it out. I was distracted by the new Will Arnett show. Sorry to leave you suspended.

Actually impending doom is often the subject of a Mel daydream/day terror. Yeah, I'm switching it to day dream because that sound considerably less crazy. While I was still pumping in a closet at work I would try to imagine what I would do if a crazy student came into the lobby, shooting the place up. I worked out a whole plan on how to warn the rest of the building. And how humble I'd be when they interviewed me. So classy of me.

I'm incredibly lucky because despite this being just the tip of iceberg when it comes to the weirdness of Mel, Jared totally digs me. Actually, more because of it. Phew. Cause we would be sca-rewed if a little crazy freaked him out.

My internal self is totally telling me to hit the sack. I've been up twenty hours and am 50% convinced this post is going to make zero sense when I re read it in 6 hours. My bad. Happy Friday Eve!